By MARTY LEVINE

“If you constantly feel that you are setting goals for yourself that are just not achievable,” you are setting yourself up for imposter syndrome, April Dukes told the March 27 Staff Council Spotlight event. “Today is about disrupting the loop.”

Dukes, who is faculty and future faculty program director of the Engineering Educational Research Center in the Swanson School of Engineering, spoke on “Engineering Your Mindset: Strategies to Challenge Perfectionism & Imposter Syndrome.”

“Sometimes having these feelings can get in the way of really flourishing,” she said, noting that “these feelings of being a fraud are incredibly common with high achievers, with research suggesting that up to 70 percent of people will grapple with it at some point. It can emerge at any career stage, impacting everyone from entry-level employees to senior executives.”

She demonstrated several strategies for “challenging negative self-talk,” including the “ ‘what’s the evidence?’ technique,” the “advisor/mentor technique,” and practicing self-compassion to reframe negative thoughts.

Asking “what’s the evidence” combats the extreme self-doubts of imposter syndrome by looking for proof that such thoughts are not justified — “data, not feelings,” Dukes said. “The idea is to focus only on constructive criticism” and instead to realize “I did the best I can. You are human” and make mistakes. “How can I move forward to make sure this doesn’t happen again?”

Often it helps to investigate the origins of such extreme feelings as imposter syndrome. Are your feelings caused by someone in the past who treated you unfairly or is it internal — do you really feel you must be perfect? Trying to figure out how that thought arose can help you to reset your thoughts, rather than perpetuating unjustified expectations.

The “advisor/mentor” technique suggests that you ask yourself: “What would a respected advisor, a supportive peer, or a trusted supervisor say to me right now” from “a more balanced, constructive, and compassionate viewpoint.” Rather than thinking, “‘That event was a disaster’” she said, “reflect on trouble-shooting the problem. What can or could you do differently?”

“Many people are their own worst critics,” Dukes added. “Sometimes we catastrophize, turning something that was slightly off” into a major flub. What would someone you trust say to help? The most helpful thinking might turn to the future: “How would I put together training materials to ensure the next person doesn’t have to go through this?”

Dukes cautioned that her guidelines won’t automatically break the cycle — such victories take practice, and part of that practice involves self-compassion.

Self-compassion, she said, is “giving yourself permission that you don’t always have the answer, to try again, to admit that I am always learning. This too will pass.”

It is also “giving yourself the ability to trust” that you will figure it out. “This does sound simplistic,” Dukes allowed, “but often … we don’t give ourselves a minute to just calm down. You will be more productive on the other end.”

Self-compassion certainly isn’t self-pity, she added. Nor is it making excuses. “Self-pity drains your energy. Self-compassion is productive. It really means treating yourself in the same way as you would treat a respected colleague.

“Ask yourself, ‘What do I need to hear right now?’” she said. It might be:

• “I will be kind to myself in this moment.”

• “I give myself the support I need to move forward.”

• “It’s OK to not have the answer right now.”

• “I have the strength and resilience to try again.”

• “I am learning, and this is part of the process.”

• “This is a difficult moment, but it will pass.”

• “I trust my ability to figure this out over time.”

One easy and helpful mechanism that promotes self-compassion is the simple to-do list, which many people already use. Crossing items off of a to-do list is about logging progress, not perfection, she noted: “You can use them not only to help manage the workload but … we need to acknowledge those small wins.”

Our nervous system is programmed to remember mistakes, so we don’t repeat them. To-do lists create small victories instead. “Tracking progress makes something that is so long term feel like small, bite-size steps — that makes the tasks more manageable. It makes you feel more accomplished and more realistic in what you are trying to do.”

One practical way to fight perfectionism is to be straight with your work supervisor about realistic workloads and timelines, especially when new projects or assignments crop up. “I want you to think of self-advocacy as response management,” Dukes said. “If you’re a people pleaser, this is one of the key things that can help. You switch from asking permission to acting like a partner in completing the mission at hand.

“For a lot of folks in higher education, data speaks more loudly” than an appeal to emotion, Dukes said, when telling your boss that a new task is about to interfere with another already underway. Use data to advocate for the quality of the work, not for yourself, she suggested, saying “I can’t do this to the quality that you expect from me," when one thing gets in the way of another.

Use “strategic no’s,” she added, by explaining what you need to accomplish your workload instead: “It is not saying no and closing the door. We’re just saying, no, not right now,” or here is what you need to say ‘Yes’ to both assignments. “Hold the line to the facts: ‘I need help prioritizing tasks.’

“Focusing on the facts and the data will get you through this” while acknowledging the emotions the other person is sharing, Dukes instructed. “It can be a challenge to have these conversations with folks,” but it can get you through such moments.

“Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean you’re going to let yourself off the hook for everything,” she concluded. “It will give you the mindset to get through better in the future.

Marty Levine is a staff writer for the University Times. Reach him at martyl@pitt.edu or 412-758-4859.

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