By SHANNON O. WELLS
An administrator in Pitt’s School of Nursing is honoring the memory of her son — who died earlier this year just after graduating from the University of Dayton — through a scholarship fund at his alma mater and by approaching her work with a more profound sense of purpose and empathy.
“Keeping busy with tasks reduces the hurt of grief by focusing on the present,” Jennifer Brunner says. “Most importantly, my son’s death has affectively influenced how I value daily interactions with family, friends and colleagues.”
Six months after the devastating loss of Ian, who was 22, Brunner says she finds solace in sharing Ian’s story.
Like any loving, caring mother whose kid moves away from home, Brunner occasionally fretted about her son after he left Pittsburgh to attend college in Ohio. One thing she never worried about, however, was Ian’s safety while working on cars — one of his primary passions.
“I’ve seen him swap out engines, and we’ve helped,” says Brunner, director of student academic advising in the School of Nursing. “I’ve seen him under the car thousands of times. He knew what he was doing. He took care. … I knew it’s dangerous, but he was taking precautions, and when he went under (the car), he didn’t expect anything different.”
On May 7, mere hours after Ian graduated from the University of Dayton’s School of Mechanical Engineering program, the jack elevating the 1994 Mazda Miata he was working on slipped, and the vehicle collapsed on him.
That evening, after Jennifer Brunner had returned to Pittsburgh from Ian’s commencement ceremony, a call came through that changed her life. Thinking the “public service” notification on her smartphone was some kind of Pitt-related alert, she ignored it several times.
“I was home, and all was well,” Brunner recalls. “Because they were so persistent, I picked up. As soon as a parent hears the words ‘Montgomery County (Ohio) Coroner’s Office’ … yeah, you know that’s where your child is.
“Everything came tumbling down. Because my thoughts are like, ‘Are you sure? Do you have the right person?’” she says.
A Savannah, Ga., native who came to Pitt in 2017, Brunner says losing her son in such a surreal set of circumstances has changed how she approaches her work as well as life.
“Because of this experience, I’m braver and more confident in tackling difficult situations. In comparison, there is no conflict or confrontation that compares with the heartache my son’s death has caused,” she says. “Thus, my capacity to empathize — as well as spontaneity to voice concern — has expanded.”
In her administrative role at Pitt, Brunner manages enrollment, promotes persistence and retention, and facilitates graduation for nursing students. She also serves as ombudsman for graduate students, supporting those seeking “impartial, nonauthoritative guidance” through difficult academic or personal situations.
A lasting legacy
While doing what she can to recreate some sense of normalcy at work and at home, Brunner also channels her time and energy into keeping Ian’s memory and legacy alive. While preparing Ian’s obituary, Brunner and her husband, Timothy, decided the financial support they’d set aside for Ian to enroll in a masters program at the University of Dayton’s could be used to benefit other students in perpetuity.
They established the Ian Brunner Memorial Scholarship at the University of Dayton with the goal of raising $100,000 this year. As of Nov. 17, $89,870 has been donated.
“Pivoting to another means of educational investment was a natural choice,” Brunner says. “Working on the scholarship appeal has provided a means for telling Ian’s story and keeping his legacy alive at Dayton. Our goal is to achieve $100K this year in order to ensure that the first award is distributed (in) fall 2024.”
Going forward, the scholarship will allow family and friends to honor Ian’s Nov. 1 birthday, as well as certain holidays, with a monetary gift. Eventually, Brunner says she hopes to help more than one student a year.
To mark the difficult occasion of Ian’s birthday this fall, Brunner promoted the scholarship by making yard signs and hanging helium balloons with a silver “Happy Birthday” star in Ian’s old neighborhood.
“I’ve had grandparents that passed, and even friends, but it’s certainly different,” she says. “We have a word for kids that lose their parents: ‘orphan.’ We have a word for those who lose spouses. There’s no word for a parent that’s lost a child. And I think it’s because, how can you ever use a word to capture the sense of loss? So, I’m trying to figure out what to do, how to celebrate it (while helping) us move forward.”
‘The perfect fit’
Describing her son as “naturally outgoing and creative,” Brunner says Ian enjoyed being with friends who were “authentic and genuine,” while his predilection toward science and engineering went back to childhood. “From an early age, he enjoyed building with Legos and Minecraft. This fueled his passion to develop projects that he could create,” she says.
“He most likely inherited his creativity from me and his mathematical ingenuity from his dad, but Ian’s passion for STEM innovation was uniquely his own,” she adds. “None of us are car buffs or mechanically minded, although we were asked to help out on many projects.”
Learning welding, steel fabrication and how to rebuild engines, Ian took part in Technical Student Association and First Robotic competitions in high school. He applied to colleges with a strong emphasis on mechanical engineering.
With its specialty offerings in aeronautics, robotics and propulsion, the University of Dayton captured Ian’s attention.
“After visiting Dayton, he knew it was the perfect fit,” Brunner says. “I recall that the flight simulator and wind tunnel were big drawing cards.”
In addition to rebuilding the engines of 1994- and 1999-model Miatas, Ian created a subscription-based YouTube channel, “Things I Build.” Brunner says a quote from John F. Kennedy etched on a clear glass plaque she and her husband got Ian as graduation present reflects his accomplishments on the channel: “Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.”
Support and inspiration
Brunner says she’s learning a lot about herself. While “crying consumes a lot of energy,” she says, “sharing memories with others is empowering. Taking time to swim laps is good for me, and focusing on the development of the scholarship helps to redirect my broken heart, and reaching out to conduct (fundraising appeal) interviews gives me a voice to talk through the grief.”
As she continues readjusting to a new kind of life, Brunner is grateful for the support she’s received from her Pitt co-workers since Ian’s death.
“People here at work have been very good about talking and asking about Ian,” she says. “The love, support and encouragement of coworkers, family and friends has been FUNDAMENTAL to making this horrible burden of sadness, loss and pain bearable.
“The inspiring words conveyed in cards, conversations filled with empathetic personal experiences, kind gestures and ongoing thoughtfulness,” she adds, “have helped to make each day less overwhelming.”
Shannon O. Wells is a writer for the University Times. Reach him at shannonw@pitt.edu.
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